Baby it's cold outside
by J.Angela
Summary: There's never been anything that Santana and Brittany can not handle. Except divorce.
1. Chapter 1

I am republishing this story because I have found a new inspiration

/

Santana had never felt so unwelcomed by Brittany. So distant and alone. She couldn't wrap her head around the idea of Brittany hating her… the idea of Brittany not wanting to be with her. But she received the divorce papers in the mail earlier in the week and still hadn't gotten around to signing them- well, she had stared at them in her office. For hours actually. With a pen in her hand but she just _couldn't_ get herself to sign them.

She wasn't ready to give Brittany up.

She knew what a divorce meant. It meant separate homes and joint custody of Manuela-Nicole. It meant going to sleep without Brittany and waking up without her by Santana's side. It meant long depressing nights and a lot of crying.

She couldn't do it.

She couldn't live like this. Not without Brittany.

Santana had just brought Manuela back from Chuck E cheese and Brittany was currently trying to get the little 4 year old to get up stairs and ready for her bath. But she wouldn't budge. She looked up at her mama with those bright brown eyes and that famous pout of hers and shook her head softly. Letting her wild black curls fly into the air, letting Brittany know she wasn't ready for bed.

"Manuela, baby, it's late. Work with me here." Brittany tried but the younger girl shook her head again.

"Manuela-Nicole Lopez-Pierce," Santana said her voice much harder than Brittany's. Their daughter looked to her mami, her pout still painted on her lips. "Get yourself up those stairs and ready for your bath." Santana's voice wasn't loud, it was actually very low. But it was stern and serious, not soft and begging like Brittany's. "It's not a question or a choice. It's actually an order. Get up the stair, _ahora_." Manuela nodded her head slowly,

"Will you come up and help me take one, mami?" She asked in a whisper and Santana softened up.

"Si," And with that she ran up the steps.

"You didn't have to be so mean," Brittany says with her arms folded and Santana gives a chuckle,

"Would you have rather stood here for the last two hours trying to get her to listen to you?" It wasn't meant as an insult… but it came out wrong, so Santana tries to change her comment. "Sometimes you don't have to be so _nice_ , Britt. She's four… you have to be harder on her sometimes so she can learn to listen…" Brittany doesn't answer and Santana feels even worse now.

"You should get up stairs and run her bath. Then you can leave."

Then Brittany leaves Santana alone. Like she had done so many times before.

/

Bath time is quiet between Manuela and Santana. The little one lets her mother run the wash cloth over her skin as she plays with her bath toys. But Santana can tell there's something on her mind.

"What's wrong, mija?" Santana asks softly and Manuela takes in a deep breath.

"When are you coming home?" She asks in a whisper of a voice. For the first time since she's been in the tub she looks over to her mother, waiting for an answer. Hoping it will be soon.

"I don't know, Manny." Santana answers honestly. "Mommy's not too happy with me-" Santana pauses and tries to lighten up the mood. "You didn't like my new place?" She asks her daughter with a smile, "I'm not too far away-"

"You're not here either." Manuela states, ignoring Santana's previous question.

"I'm only a phone call away." But Manuela shakes her head.

"I miss you and mommy misses you too." Santana scuffs at that. Brittany doesn't seem to miss her at all, and if she did than the blonde had an awful bad way of showing it. "You're not here to make my lunch or kiss me goodnight anymore, and you're not here to tuck me in or wake me up. You're not here to help me with anything." Manuela shakes her head and pouts again, "I built a really cook house with my Lego's yesterday and you weren't here to see it.

"Maybe mommy can start taking pictures? Hm? And sending them to me so I can see everything I'm missing. And you can call me before you go to sleep and-"

"That doesn't solve much."

"I know it's not the same, baby… but I promise it'll get better. Okay?" Manuela nods her head and gets up as Santana grabs a towel for her to dry off with.

/

Santana has Manuela in bed and sleep in 20 minutes and starts down the stairs to get into her car. But she's stopped when she gets to the bottom by Brittany staring out the window. She walks over to the blonde and stands beside her, watching the snow fall furiously outside. "They said it would start snowing but… damn." Santana whispers. They can't see the road, or much of anything for that matter. All they can make out is white. "I should get going before it gets any worse-"

"You're not going out there!" Brittany practically hollers.

"Britt… I have to go. I have work in the morning." Brittany scuffs and rolls her eyes,

"Are you really so concerned with work that you'd risk your life?"

"I'll be fine-"

"And what if you're not, Santana? What the hell am I going to tell Manuela?" Santana stops and thinks, Brittany's right.

"Well if I can't leave then-"

"You'll stay here." Brittany cuts her off. "We have the guest rooms,"

"Ok… could you bring me some pajama's too… shorts-"

"I know what you need, Santana. We've been married for seven years." That get's Santana to be quiet because Brittany's right again, there's not a thing she doesn't know about Santana. And there's not a single thing Santana doesn't know about Brittany.

/

Brittany's been unusually quiet and Santana doesn't like it. She's not used to Brittany being so awkward and hostile around her. So angry and annoyed even. She's used to being the light of Brittany's day, the cause for her laughter and happiness. Not the cause of her pain and sorrow. But as she watches Brittany do the dishes… she can only see pain. Brittany looks hurt, damaged even.

Still… she's more beautiful than ever. Her blonde hair sitting high on her head in a messy, thrown together in five seconds bun, her sweat pants hanging off her body like a Victoria secret model, exposing her flat stomach and her hip bone. She's gorgeous and there's not a thing Santana wouldn't do for Brittany to forgive her.

Santana loves her and she always will.

"Do you need any help?" Santana asks and Brittany looks up, she tries to ignore how tempting Santana looks in her shorts- literally- they belong to Brittany, and since the blonde is a bit skinnier than Santana it's making them a tab bit too _tight_ for Santana… but with the Latina's shaped body they just look alluring and so sexy. And she didn't have on a shirt. Just a simple black bra that made her chest looks amazing. Brittany swallows and removes her gaze from Santana so she doesn't start to drool.

"No," She says simply and Santana sighs,

"There are a lot of dishes… I could do the pots and pans for you?" Brittany looks around, noticing there is quite a bit of dishes, and she tries to figure how she and Manuela used so many with just the two of them.

"You can get the pots and pans." Santana makes her way to the stove to grab the dirty pots and pans and gets over to the sink to start to wash.

"Britt?" Santana asks quietly and it takes Brittany a while to answer.

"Yeah?"

"Maybe you can come with us next time? I was going to take her to see the good dinosaur next Saturday-"

"I have a date." Brittany blurts it out; it had been heavy on her mind for 2 week now and she needed to tell Santana.

She didn't have to look at the Latina to know that Santana's eyes are piercing into her.

"Excuse me?" Santana's voice is dripping with venom, dripping with anger and regret and at the same time she wants to burst into tears.

"I have a date next Saturday. With a guy-"

"No!" Santana practically shouts, dropping the dishes into the water. "You can't-"

"I'm not your wife anymore, Santana! I can do as I please-"

"The hell you can, Brittany! I didn't sign those papers yet so legally you are still my wife! You're still _mines_!"

"I don't belong to you-"

"You belong exactly to me." Santana knew how she sounded… possessive and controlling. Over protective and dominating. But it's true; Brittany has always been her girl, her woman, even when she wasn't.

She was always Santana's.

"I've already been out with Aaron."

It's like a punch in the stomach, a slap to the face. _Aaron?_ It's like she's lost all ability to breathe on her own. Santana wants to sink, she wants to sink to the floor and just cry; cry because Brittany's been out with someone that's not her, and that just brings on other horrible, heart bleeding thoughts.

She's allowing someone else to _touch_ her.

Santana's going to throw up. Or die.

She can actually feel her life ending and her sobs starting wreak through her rib cage and out through her chest. She can feel the tears falling.

"Santana-"Brittany tries but Santana screams,

"NO!" Her face is turning colors now, to a redish color like her eyes. "H-has he been around Manuela? Have you had him in the house-"

"No," Brittany answers quickly.

"Where'd you meet him?"

"That's none of your-"

"Where'd you meet him!" It's not a question, like she told Manuela earlier; it's an order for Brittany to tell her. Rather it's her business or not. She needs to know.

"He works with me at the school. He's a 4th grade teacher." Santana's jaw clenches and she keeps her eyes on Brittany who still hasn't looked at her. "He's very nice, Santana-"

"I don't give a damn what he is, Brittany," Her voice is so broken now she can barely even speak.

She doesn't know how people do it. How they can lose the love of their lives and just… move on.

"How long have you been seeing him?"

"Santana-"

"We've only been separated for two months!"

"Santana-"

"Were you cheating on me? I-is is that why you want-"

"NO!" Brittany drops the dishes as well and looks at Santana, "I'd never do that you! EVER!" She whispers loudly, trying to keep her voice down. "And if I was cheating on you… you'd be too wrapped in your work to notice." Santana's whole body calms and her shoulders drop,

"That's what this is about? My career-"

"It's about you not coming home until 2 am because you're working on a case in the office! It's about having to take care of Manuela all by myself because you were at the _office_! And it's about you ignoring me for the last year so you could make partner! And it's about how I sat up waiting for you on our anniversary and you didn't come home till god knows when! It's about how many times I wondered if you were off with someone else-"

"There's _never been_ anyone else for me, Brittany!" Santana cries, "No one but you…"

"There is something else though, your work-"

"Well excuse me for wanting to give my wife and daughter a good life! Excuse the hell out of me for giving you this big ass house in this nice ass neighborhood and those cars parked in the garage, excuse me for getting you out of Lima-"

"I didn't need any of that!" Brittany shouts, "I needed you, Santana-"

"And you have me! You have _all_ of me…" Santana whispers, "You have anything I can offer to you, Brittany… I-I'll do anything for you and Manuela."Brittany just looks at Santana, exhausted from this argument, "H-Have…" Santana stops, bowing her head. She doesn't want to ask this but a part of her needs to know. "Has he… have you let him-"

"We just met 2 weeks ago, Santana." That's her answer and Santana knows that means no. They haven't had sex. Brittany brushes past Santana and dries her hands off on a paper towel.

"It's getting late and I'm going to bed."

"He doesn't know you like I do," That stops Brittany in her tracks. "He'll never know you like I do, no matter how much he tries, no matter how much you tell him, he won't know."

"I'm not asking anyone to know me like you do because… that's impossible." Brittany whispers, "I'm asking someone to love me like you've been forgetting how to do." And she continues up the stairs.

/

The wind is only picking up throughout the night. Brittany can hear the branches hitting her window. She can hear the air being blown in every which direction.

And it's frightening.

She's always been scared of storms, it didn't matter which type. Anything that made too much noise in the night time she hated.

The branches smacking the window made her jump and Brittany couldn't stop the small tears from falling down her face.

And though she couldn't mask the fact that she was very much angry at Santana… she wanted her here.

She was the only person that knew just how to hold her to make her stop shaking. She knew how to kiss her tears away and whisper that everything was going to be alright. That nothing or no one would ever hurt her because Santana would never allow it.

But Brittany couldn't bring herself to go into the guest room that Santana had picked. She couldn't face the Latina… not like this and not after their argument.

So she sat in her bed and cried alone.

/

Santana knew Brittany was afraid of storms and she knew exactly why.

Her parents died during a thunderstorm.

They were freshmen in college, not too far from Lima but they were happy to be free and on their own. But Santana still remembers the look on Brittany's face when her sister called her that morning, letting Brittany know that it was raining too hard and that her father must have lost control of the car and crashed into a large tree. The police said that the tires slid and both were killed from impact.

Santana expected Brittany to come into the room and cuddle up to her side, but when she didn't the Latina got up and made her way across the hall.

/

She didn't bother to say anything as she entered the room. She could hear Brittany whimpering softly, her cries filling the room. She crawled into the king sized bed and scooted until she found Brittany.

Almost instantly, on reflex, Brittany curled into Santana and let the Latina take her over. She let small arms wrap around her and she cried into Santana's shoulders. But Santana's didn't care, she liked taking care of Brittany. She liked knowing that she would always be the one to know exactly how to take care of her and make her feel better.

So Santana strokes her hair and whispers sweet, gentle and soothing things into her ear as she rubs her back as well. She has to fight the urge to pin Brittany down and make her feel better in… other ways but she knows it wouldn't be right. And if they did end up making love it would be because Brittany's vulnerable right now.

She doesn't want that. Not like this.

But even still the blonde isn't wearing a bra and Santana can tell, she can feel Brittany's bare chest through her night shirt and its driving Santana crazy in the best way possible.

Brittany is still her's and she'll never let her go. Not for anyone.

Especially not some jackass named _Aaron._

Brittany's tears have subsided and she's melted into Santana's arms. All the defenses she had up earlier are down and she's allowing herself to be taken by the other woman. She hides her face in Santana's neck as they both lie down and pull the covers up. Santana holds her tighter, her arms like a protective shield and Brittany likes it. She can smell Santana's shampoo and she loves how her dark hair cascades over her shoulders and takes over Brittany's vision. They're both in comfortable silence but neither is sleep. They can't sleep like this.

Santana might as well be naked and it scares Brittany how much she wants her. How much she wants to kiss the women who is beside her. The woman who's done nothing but ignore her for the last year and a half. The woman who's made her question everything about the life they've built. But in this moment she knows she doesn't care. Brittany keeps her arms wrapped around Santana's neck, let's out a soft sigh.

Santana's bare skin in like fire, inviting Brittany in and keeping her so warm and when Brittany feels Santana's hands start to slide around her waist and to her barely covered ass she let's out a groan and practically jumps out of bed. But Santana won't let her because she's holding her so close and so tight it's hard to get away.

" _Santana,_ "It's the first word that either of them speak since Santana got in here an hour ago and it's more of a warning than anything. A warning that Brittany doesn't want to go there… She wants to stay mad and she wants to go through with their divorce and this would just complicate everything. But it also tells Santana that with every fiber of Brittany's being… she wouldn't be able to stop her if they _did_ make love tonight.

Santana's hands are moving, grasping Brittany's backside, her breathing becoming shallow as she starts to think all the things she could do tonight to show Brittany how sorry she really is.

How there is no other woman she could possibly ever want besides Brittany.

"I don't want anyone else touching you," Santana admits in a mummer, her lips making their way to Brittany's tear stained cheek and then down to neck to place a light kiss. "I don't want _him_ touching you." Brittany already knew that, Santana had always been very territorial when it came to her.

"Santana, we might-"

"Damn it, Brittany," Santana whispers harshly, "I said I don't want him touching you, fucking you, loving you, taking care of you-" Brittany can feel Santana's tears streaming down her face and soaking her shoulder. "That's my job."

It get's quiet again and Brittany nods her head, she understands where Santana is coming from but she can't make any promises. But she also knows if Santana ever finds out that she and Aaron slept together that Santana would hunt Aaron down like a dog and make him regret it.

The weather hasn't calmed down one bit but Brittany forgot all about while in Santana's arm.

Santana has Brittany on top of her now, the blonde straddling her pants less, creamy tanned colored thighs and her hands are now under Brittany's panties, gripping her bare ass and making Brittany groan so softly in her ear. Santana tugs them down and Brittany freezes,

They haven't made love, or had sex or barely kissed for a year.

But she can tell Santana is determined to make Brittany her's again.

" _Santana,"_ Brittany tries again, her voice soft and desperate because she can't stop the wetness from pooling around her core and she knows Santana felt it when she starts to shiver,

/

" _Brittany-"_ Santana breath is warm and sends chills down your spine and straight to your center.

You've never understood how she could turn you on so much without doing much. You can feel your nipples hardening and so can Santana because she pulling your panties further down your legs, trying to get them out of her way.

"We shouldn't…" You try but Santana just licks and kiss at the soft spot on your neck. The spot that makes your eyes shut softly. "We-we can't-"

"Yes we can," She whispers into your neck. "Your panties are soaked," Santana licks your neck again and you tremble a bit. "Your scent is so strong,"

Your heart rate picks up at Santana's words; and so does the throbbing between your legs. You missed this Santana. The Santana that wants nothing more than to please you in ever way possible. The Santana that turns you on like she was born to do just that.

"We have work in the morning," You argue in a short breath and Santana pauses, her mind conflicted. But it is late, about 4 am and you both have to out the house damn early.

When her fingers slip down between your legs and work their way around your clit and down to your entrance you shudder. You moan. You lose your breath and your control to even stand on your knees as you allow yourself to stumble slightly and crash into Santana. Her fingers are coated and lets out a sigh as well.

She missed you.

Your blue eyes are locked on her brown as she continues to work, but you're confused now because you know Santana and you know she can do better than _this_. She's touching you… but you know her purpose isn't for you to feel good.

So when she pulls her fingers back, bringing them to her lips and letting them slip into her mouth you moan softly. She sucks you off her fingers, savoring your taste; her tongue gliding over her skin and you can't think straight anymore. She gives a whimper, her eyes never leaving yours as she pulls her fingers from her mouth.

You're not sure what she'll do next… but when her hands tightens around your wrist and guides your fingers to her stomach your breath gets caught in your throat again. She helps you slide your fingers down and into her panties and when you feel her slick, _so wet_ , and _so warm_ arousal you moan out loud and so does she. When your fingers are coated she pulls them away and puts your hand to your lips, without hesitation, you immediately take your own fingers into your mouth and watch as she watches you.

You groan at the taste, it's _so familiar_ and _so good._

It makes you dizzy but it makes you want more.

More of her. More of her.

But you can't deny how angry you are, how upset you are. Or how

When you're done she pulls you down to the bed and pulls you back into her, her arms wrapping around you tightly again, not letting you find the panties that she threw somewhere on the ground.

"You're right, it's time for bed."

/

 **Please tell me what you all think and I will get started on chapter 2 : )**

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	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the reviews and I'm happy you all are enjoying the story! I don't want to give too much away.** **Here's chapter 2**

 _/_

Santana can talk her way out of anything, even if it's an insult 90% of the time.

And she has fire inside of her-which is why she's such a good lawyer. She doesn't back down from _anything_ and she loves challenges.

Brittany always loved that about Santana, _that fire._

Sometimes she was a gentle flame, like all the times they had made love. Most of the time Santana was the light of Brittany's world; she would tell the blonde how lucky she was the have a woman like Brittany. And Brittany always felt lucky to have someone like Santana. Especially when she would use the blazing fire inside of her to stick up for the blonde.

She loved that the most.

She never failed to put Brittany first, when they were kids and Brittany missed the ice cream truck Santana would run up to the convenient store and grab her favorite ice cream, and when they got older she always walked the blonde to school so she wouldn't get lost, and on their wedding day she vowed to never leave Brittany behind no matter where her career took her.

But here they were, 7 years later and 30 years old and separated. It was almost like they had lost their way… like they just couldn't connect the way they used to. She could have never predicted this would happen… her and Santana divorcing. It seems so strange...

But over the past year Santana had done nothing but throw herself into her work. Sometimes, Brittany actually thought that Santana forgot she had a wife and daughter because she would sit in her office with her glasses sitting on the bridge of her nose; making phones calls and doing paperwork and collecting all the evidence she needed. She had ignored every holiday, locking herself away from family and friends because she had _more_ work to do. The only holiday she participated in was Christmas, showering Manuela and Brittany with every diamond, toy, or new electronic device on the market. But even then… she wasn't there to see their face when they opened the gifts.

 _Brittany opened the door to Santana's office; the Latina looked so tired and so fed up that Brittany almost turned around. But no, she knocked softly, smiling when Santana looked up at her. "Merry Christmas,"_

" _Is it?" Santana asked going back to her lap top. Brittany shakes off the comment and perks back up. She moves across the large, hard wood floor and sits down across from Santana at her desk._

" _Manuela loves her dolls house, and the scooter, and the bike, and the princess doll, but she wanted to know if you would play with her-"_

" _I've never played dolls, Brittany." She knew that, of course but she could at lease watch while Manuela played. Brittany chews on her bottom lip and smiles again,_

" _I liked the diamond charm bracelet you got me… I loved the duck charm and the cat charm and the heart one too… but the S charm was my favorite."Brittany keeps her eyes on Santana who's still paying no attention to her. "I was thinking I could get you a matching one with the letter B," Santana just nods and flips through some papers on the side of her._

" _Brittany… is some part of this conversation relevant?" She asks the question slowly, trying not to hurt the blonde's feelings. Santana glances up at her, "I know you like the back of my hand, of course you like the bracelet and all the charms; they're your favorite things. Just like I'm sure you liked the Disney classic disc-set, and the new lap top I got you so you can do your work without being scared it'll shut off or going too slow, and the Micheal Kors purse, and the Ugg's sweater with the matching boots so you'll be comfortable and warm while you teach those god-awful children-"_

" _I know… I loved them all...You're so thoughtful" Brittany gets quiet and Santana starts typing, "I wanted to give you your gifts,"_

" _I'll open them later-"_

" _Or you could open them now?" Brittany presses on and Santana lets out a sigh._

" _Britt, I have to finish this work. Later, okay?"Brittany deflates, her shoulders drop and the pout appears on her face._

" _Okay,"_

Brittany was a little disappointed when she woke up and didn't feel the warmth of Santana that she had fallen asleep in, but then again she had been having that feeling for almost a year and a half. Falling asleep without Santana and waking up without her as well, in fact, she had barely really seen Santana. She started to lightly touch the bracelet on her arm, she looked at her S charm and smiled; it really was her favorite one.

She finds a pair of pajama shorts and starts down the steps, expecting Santana to be gone because she had to get to the firm, of course. But she freezes when she reaches the kitchen and see's her wife cooking. She blinks for a moment,

Santana never _cooks_.

She never has time. Brittany always just made two slices of toast and put them on the table for Santana to grab on her way out the door; if she was still home.

But here Santana was at 6 am; cooking pancakes, eggs, bacon, toast and sausages.

To make it worst… she's wearing little to nothing. There's a crisp, white button down shirt hanging off her shoulders and draping her body perfectly, but it's open, revealing Santana's black bra and thong.

Brittany gulps when Santana turns to face her, "Good morning," The other woman says brightly, happily even. But Brittany's at a loss for words, the last time Santana cooked and said good morning like that was the first year they got married and everything was new and much simpler. "I made breakfast for my beautiful queen," She steps closer to Brittany, a blush creeping on her cheeks.

"W-We won't have time to eat all this… we've gotta be out the house by 8." Brittany looks from the food and back to Santana, "Why are you still here?"

"It's a snow day for everyone." Santana says, never taking her eyes off of Brittany. "It's on the news, all schools are closed… even my office is."

"Oh… okay."

"I was thinking we could let Manny sleep in while you and I have breakfast," Santana wraps arms around Brittany's shoulders, draping them there so that she can pull the blonde closer. She smells just like frosting… or vanilla and it makes Brittany want to kiss her. "I'll cook Manuela something when she wakes up." Brittany nods and moves away from Santana has quickly as she can.

There's a plate already made for her.

They don't talk about much, it's almost like there's nothing to say. So they both focus on the food in front of them. But finally Brittany is the one to speak.

"We should talk about custody," She murmurs and Santana shakes her head,

"There's no need for that because we're not getting divorced."

"Santana," Brittany tries again, her voice soft. "I'm willing to do joint custody… so I get her for a month and you get her for a month, and we can discuss holidays-"

"She'll hate us if we do that to her," Santana says in a stern voice, "Just imagine how she'll feel going back and forth like that. Then who gets her on Christmas? And her birthday… thanksgiving?"

"Well how else are we going to do it? Do you want weekends or weekdays-"

"I want us all to be together."

"No you don't-"

"How can you say that?"

"Because you don't act like it."

"I said I was sorry for my behavior-"

"Sometimes apologies aren't enough-" Santana bites her lip, trying not to get too loud.

"I don't expect you to forgive me at the drop of a dime… but I do expect you to forgive me." Brittany doesn't answer, "We've been through so much, this just seems silly-"

"Oh, I'm silly now? You're basically calling me dumb and belittling my feelings!"

"That's not what I'm doing at all!" Santana shouts back. "I'm just trying to make this better."

"You're doing a damn great job then, Santana." Brittany bites back.

"Mami? Mama…" The tiny voice stops their arguing and they both look down at their daughter who is in tears,

"Hey mija," Santana get's up and kneels to her daughter, giving her tummy a little tickle to cease her crying, "It's okay… you don't have to cry. _Sonrisa."_

"I can't smile because you and mama are yelling at each other," She sobs harder and Santana looks over to Brittany,

"W-we weren't yelling at each other." Brittany tries but Manuela shakes her head,

"Yes you were! You were yelling and mam was yelling and- and you both were really angry-"

"We were just having a disagreement…" Santana says softly, "But everything's okay." Manuela just moves closer to her mami and puts her little arms around Santana's neck. She picks her daughter up and carries her over to Brittany who is standing now.

"We're okay," She tells Manuela and the little girl looks up from her hiding spot on Santana's shoulder.

"Promise?" Brittany just nods,

"Do you want some pancakes?" Brittany asks and Manuela gives a little smile and a nod,

"Chocolate chip?" She asks and a small voice and Brittany nods her head,

"Whatever you want."

They watch Manuela eat in silence, looking up at each other every now and then but giving their attention back to their daughter. Santana can't imagine having to trade Manuela every month. She doesn't want to imagine her and Brittany permanently living in different houses.

Manuela finishes up, pushing her plate away and looking to her parents, "Can we watch a movie?" They both smile at her and nods their heads, "You don't have any work, mami?" Brittany raises an eyebrow and glances over at Santana,

"No baby, it was closed today and I've finished most of everything for my cases." Manuela nods her head, approving of the answer and gets up to find a movie of her choice.

She picked Snow white.

Santana hates Snow white.

"Why's this bitch so stupid?" Santana mutters to herself and Brittany slaps her arm,

" _Stop,"_ she giggles

"Manny, if an old woman ever gives you an apple; don't eat it. Strange danger."

"Okay mama," Manuela laughs keeping her eyes on the film.

"And don't get me started about these living arrangement-"

"Santana it's a movie-"

"Telling young girls that it's okay to stay in a house occupied by 7 men. Great message." Brittany can't help but laugh, Santana's comments had always made her laugh,

"Just enjoy the movie." Brittany says and Santana gets quiet, she looks over at Manuela, who is laying in the middle of the floor with her eyes focused on the large flat screen on the wall.

"I'd enjoy it more if you were in my lap," Santana knows it's a bold move… but she's a bold woman. She notices Brittany's blush and she takes it a step further, lifting the small woman up by her waist and placing Brittany on her lap.

Santana watches to see Brittany's reaction, and when the blonde doesn't move- she actually cuddles closer to Santana hesitantly- Santana wraps her arms around her waist, pulling her closer and letting her fingers rest high on the top of her thighs. Brittany's hair smells like strawberries and Santana leans in to smell it some more. Brittany forgot how good it felt to be in Santana's presence like this; she melts into the other woman's arms. She takes in a sharp breath when she feels Santana's lips on the back of her neck.

Her lips are so soft and they feel so good and Brittany lets her eyes flutter shut as she enjoys the sensation of Santana's lips on her skin.

When she feels Santana's tongue licking her skin she lets out a breath, pressing her legs together. She can feel Santana's fingers dancing on the top of her thighs, caressing her skin and pulling her to insanity. Everything about this feels good, Santana holding her, her tongue, her fingers creeping up Brittany's thighs and between her legs-

"Santana," She whispers and she can feel the Latina's lips curving into a smile,

"Just relax-"

"But Manuela-"

"Is totally into the movie." Her lips are back to her neck, curving around to suck on the skin below Brittany's ear. Brittany's eyes roll back and she sinks deeper into Santana. "You're so beautiful," Santana breathes, her breath is hot and sends chills down Brittany's spine.

She can't remember the last time Santana told her that.

"I'm sorry," She whisper, and for a moment Brittany believes her, "Let me show you how sorry I am-" It's the fire that makes Santana so irresistible, that makes her so good at everything she does; she never gives up. She's persistent and determined, so sure of herself and confident.

Santana removes her lips from Brittany's skin and she lets her fingers move Brittany's knee, but she keeps the blonde on her lap and lets herself snuggle into her before she asks, "Manny, wanna come join us up here?" The four year old perks up and runs to her parents, settling between the two.

Santana notices it when she and Brittany are cleaning up the kitchen after dinner.

Manuela won student of the month for the month of December.

It was written in golden letters on a card stock kind of paper with a royal purple boarder. _Manuela-Nicole Lopez-Pierce_ was also in golden letters with a gold metal on the side.

It made Santana's heart swell and she smiled with pride.

Her baby was student of the month.

And not just student of the month, she has a lot of awards on the refrigerator. Like star student, helper of the month, spelling bee champ.

"Her teacher says that she's very helpful around the classroom, and that she pays attention and catches on quick." Brittany tells Santana, noticing her eyeing the award. "She also made honor roll, and helps other kids in her class read." Its then that Santana feels bad… how had she not noticed any of these? And she didn't congratulate her daughter. Now she feels like a terrible mother, what mother doesn't shower their children with attention for accomplishments like this? Santana chuckles and so does Brittany,

"I'm… a terrible mother." Santana whispers and Brittany shakes her head. She drops the dishes and goes to Santana right away.

"No you're not! Don't say that!"

"I didn't even know that they had spelling bees or helper of the month!" Santana grumbles, she looks back up at the refrigerator and there's a chart and Manuela's chart is filled with stars for books that she can read all by herself. "She can read… I didn't even…"

"Santana… you're busy-"

"I should never be so busy that I neglect my daughter," Santana says, "Or you."

"You're an excellent mother… if it weren't for you Manuela wouldn't even be able to go to a prestigious school like Blaire Academy. God knows I couldn't afford it."

"Yeah but-"

"You read to her every night when she was a baby and a toddler… you worked with her so much."

"Britt-"

"And how about those voice lessons and dance programs she's in? You want the best for her...don't say things like that about yourself." Santana nods her head slowly, noticing that Brittany is only inches away from her now.

"Do you remember how…" Santana pauses, "How I was never picked to be student of the month?" That makes Brittany frown because she does remember. And she remembers how sad it had made Santana as a child. She nods her head as Santana continues to look at her daughter's awards. "Do you remember how you made me your star of the year?" She asks shyly, hoping Brittany will remember and when the blonde nods Santana smiles. "You made me an award out of bright pink paper and my reward was that I got a hug from you every morning when I got to class… and you wrote all the letters in different colors and you told me that I would always be your star." Brittany laughs lightly,

"We were like 8…" She says,

"I still have the award you gave me…"

"Really?" Santana nods, "It's framed… in my office at work." Santana looks over at Brittany,

"I felt bad because… because you were always fighting for _me_. That's why you didn't get picked-"

"I didn't get picked for plenty more reasons than that." Santana and Brittany both laughed, "But I didn't care after you gave me your award because all I cared about was you."

"Do you remember when my mom gave me that awful haircut?" That makes Santana laugh out loud.

"Yes I do…" Santana bites her lip and grins, "I also remember cutting Taylor Edwards ponytail off because she wouldn't leave you alone about it." Santana shrugs, "She didn't bother you the rest of the year."

"You shouldn't have done that-"

"She should have left you alone." They laugh for a minute before it dies down and now they're so close- it feels so good though. Santana's pressed against refrigerator, her eyes locked on Brittany's lips.

"Do you remember our first kiss?" Santana whispers and Brittany nods. How could she forget?

"We were in my tree house…" Brittany stutters, "And you were upset about Puck… he called you average and-and he was dating an older girl," Brittany chuckles and so does Santana, neither of them backing away.

"You told me that I was beautiful… and that he was blind." Santana says, "You told me that if I was your girl you'd kiss me every day and tell me how gorgeous I was-"

"Because you deserved to hear it." Brittany finishes, "And then I kissed your cheek, then your lips-"

"And we didn't stop." Santana breathes, "We kissed for hours and-and I loved every second of it."

"Me too." Santana leans in closer, but Brittany steps back,

"We need to go check on Manuela."

Brittany gives her a bath while Santana sets her pajama's out. Once she's dried and dressed Santana lift's Manuela into the air and brings her back into her arms tightly. "Congradualtion, hija. Estoy tan orgelloso de ti!"

"Why are you proud of me?" Manuela giggles,

"Well… I'll always be proud of you no matter what, but I'm very proud that you were student of the month, and that you help your teacher and friends. Muy bien!"

"I like making you proud." Manuela smiles, "I can red green eggs and ham. And Harold and the purple crayon. And all the Llama llama books. My teacher says we're going to start reading chapter books after Christmas break!"

"Maybe you can read me a story tomorrow night? Hm?"

"I want you to read me one tonight." Santana smiles,

"I can do that." Manuela hops up and goes to pick out a book, she chooses a book from her shelf and Santana starts to read.

Before she's finished with the book Manuela is fast asleep. Santana tucks her 6 year old daughter in and her and Brittany tip toe out of the room.

"See, amazing." Brittany smiles once the door is shut. Santana surprises her by lightly pushing her into the wall.

"No, you're amazing." Brittany's throat goes dry as she and Santana are face to face. The Latina's fingers creeping up the sides of her thighs and up to the small of her back. Santana waits for Brittany to say something, and when she doesn't she leans into Brittany, allowing her lips to kiss Brittany's neck.

Brittany doesn't know how to tell Santana to stop. It's like she can't get the words out. She's growing so dizzy from Santana's lips on her neck and her hands groping her ass with great force. She lets out a groan as her eyes flutter shut and she lets her head fall to the side, giving Santana plenty of more room.

Brittany knows they should stop. She knows that this is inappropriate on so many levels… but it's been so long that she's had Santana this close to her… she really doesn't want to stop.

When Santana hugs her closer and bites down gently on her neck, kissing and licking the same spot Brittany moans out loud.

Santana's lips have always been her weakness.

 _Santana_ has always been her weakness.

She can feel Santana all over, she's getting hot and she would like nothing more to be naked in bed with this beautiful woman- her beautiful wife. But something… something's telling her to-

"Stop," She whispers, but the shorter woman doesn't respond. She keeps going, obviously too lost in Brittany to really listen. "Santana," Brittany says a bit louder, "Santana… you have to stop. We have to stop-"Santana pulls away long enough to look at Brittany, and her eyes are so dark and so full of lust and love and need that Brittany actually feels bad for stopping her.

"I've missed you-"Santana husks, her hands cuffing Brittany's ass, "I need to feel you, Brittany." Her hands move around her waist, making their way into her shorts and to her panties, "I need you to feel _me_ ," Brittany gasps, her body melting from Santana's touch,

"I said no," She whispers and Santana stops, her body freezing, her eyes locked on Brittany's.

She's not sure if Brittany is serious or not.

Brittany looks away; she looks almost ashamed of her words. But Santana can tell her meant what she said.

She actually wants her to stop.

Santana's heart is breaking and she doesn't know how to stop her tears from falling at that moment.

"Y-You don't want me?" She asks, her voice broken. Afraid to hear the answer. But Brittany doesn't, she doesn't say a word. Santana moves away from Brittany. "Do you actually want to divorce me?" She continues and Brittany finally looks up to her; Blue eyes drowning in emotion and doubt, regret and uncertainty.

"I don't know," She whispers.

"It's a simple fucking question," Santana says harshly, "Do you want me-"

"Do you want me?" Brittany spits back and Santana crosses her arms, she looks hurt by the question. What kind of question is that?

"Of course I want you."

"Really-"

"Yes!" Santana shouts, "Y-you're the only person I've ever _wanted_ … I've ever loved. The only person I'd build my life around-"

"I understand that Santana but things get really hard around here when you're at work," Brittany cries, "You are an amazing mother and you support us in so many ways… but…"

"Brittany-"

"So you tell me… do you want us… do you want me? Or do you just like the thought of me being here?"

"I want you, Brittany. I want this family…" Santana says in a soft voice, "I didn't mean- I didn't mean to make you think otherwise…" Santana tries, "I can't live without you, Brittany. I can't… I can't do it." Santana wipes her tears away and Brittany watches her carefully. " _Fuck,_ " Santana grumbles, "You should have told me how you felt sooner!"

"It's gotten kind of hard to talk to you." Brittany says,

"So this is my entire fault?"

"It's not about fault, Santana." You whisper,

"So what's it about, Brittany?"

"I don't think you love me anymore." And with that, Brittany pushes her way away from Santana and goes to her room to shut the door.

 **Review review review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thankyou for all the reviews and Im so happy that you're all enjoying my story! Chapter 3 took a little longer to type, it's been a very busy 2 weeks for me and my family, then I caught a cold.** **But Chapter 4 will be up by Tuesday! 3**

 **Santana**

She's always been you're sunshine.

For as long as you can remember Brittany has always been the star in your sky, the light for dark days.

You didn't grow up in the best home life; if your dad wasn't out sleeping with other women he was home drinking and trying to control everything. He was a business man, but he was possessive, and threatening. He was mentally abusive, and physically abusive sometimes as well, and you always promised yourself to be nothing like him. He picked fights and pointed out every single one of your flaws. The only attention he gave you was if you acted out in school or brought home bad grade. Other than that you didn't exist to him.

Brittany was your way out. You'd walk the few blocks to her house and she would make you feel special and wanted, she made you feel free. To her you were perfect; she liked your wild black hair and your pouty lips. She liked that you read comic books and didn't play with dolls. She liked everything about you, but if there was something she didn't like she wouldn't make you feel so bad about it. She would make up stories about unicorns and magical beast living on far around islands. She'd always name them Santana… she made you believe that this wasn't going to be your only life.

Santana and Brittany.

Brittany and Santana.

There's never been a single thing the two of you couldn't handle.

/

Her phone has been going off all morning. And every time she just looks at it and sets it down.

"Who's texting you?" She chews on her bottom lip and doesn't look at you. "Brittany." You say a little louder and she sighs,

"Just Aaron." You arch an eyebrow,

"He must have an awful lot to say."

"Just… checking in on us." You don't need him checking in on _your wife._ Or on your daughter. That's what you're here for.

"Can I see?" You ask, looking through each other's phones had never been a problem before.

"Sure." She hands her iPhone over to you, but she seems unsure. You scroll through the messages but they're basically one sided. He'll send Brittany a flirty text, telling her how cute she in and how he can't wait for their next date. He tells her how he couldn't stop looking at during school and he tries to convince her to let him come over so that they can get to know each other better. And Brittany, being the friendly ass person that she is, sends him 'thanks' with a smiley emoji or a 'maybe later.' But you already know that's all he needs to think he's in good with her. You didn't think your anger would be so visible but as you stand there clenching your jaw and gripping your phone you can't help the feeling to throw it and smash it against the wall. "Santana?" Brittany asks quietly, "We've only been on a few dates…those text are nothing, really-"

"You think a grown ass man calling you beautiful and wanting to spend alone time to get to know you better is nothing?" You ask in disbelief.

"I meant that it means nothing to me."

"You're allowing it to happen so it must mean something to you." Brittany shrugs,

"I might just like the attention… but nothing's going to happen between us." She tries to reassure you. Brittany's much too innocent for _anything_ to happen between her and someone else.

You're the only person she's ever been with.

You set the phone down on the bed and you walk closer to Brittany. You keep walking until you have her pushed against the wall and you bring your hands to her hips. You lean in close to her ear, just grazing the shell of it with your lips. "Santana…" She breathes, "We shouldn't-"

"Shut up," You whisper to her softly, "You're _mines_ -"You growl, "and mines only" You let your tongue run flat against her neck, nipping at it softly. She breathes in deeply, cocking her head towards your face to give you a small kiss on the cheek. "Do you understand?" You ask her and she nods, "Tell me you understand." Your arms run up her back and down to her soft, barely covered ass and she squeaks.

"Yes… I-I understand." You continue to kiss her neck and you can feel her body giving into you.

"You understand what?"

"That I am yours."

"Do you want to be mines?" You pull away just enough to look into her eyes. And you see so much want in them you almost burst.

"Yes," She whispers and you bring her closer. She wraps her arms around your neck and starts to rack her fingers through your loose curls. _I'm yours._ She repeats softly to you and she pulls you closer. She's warm and welcoming, she humming softy into your ear. You kiss her neck once more, sending chills down her spine as she whimpers.

"Is this enough attention for you?" You mumble and she nods her head,

"Yes…" She breathes.

"Tell me that I'm all you need." You whisper and she does. _You're all I want._ Its music to your ears, it makes you grow weak in the knee's how much you missed her touch. Your kisses grow urgent, she taste like vanilla and chocolate, she's wearing one of your old college sweatshirts from freshman year. It's a little big but she makes it look so sexy, the way it's hanging off her shoulder and giving you just the right amount of access to _everything._ You kiss up to the back of her ear and she lets out a shaky breath, then you kiss back down, all the way to her bare shoulder. You can feel her body shake slightly and you can hear her soft, barely audible moans.

 **Brittany**

 _God._

Have you missed her kisses. You've missed _her,_ you like the way she takes control when she wants you. She's always had this kind of power over you; the kind of power to be able to have her way with you… but you wouldn't have it any other way because she's the only person you'd give yourself to over and over again. Her lips are like fire on your skin, making her mark on you and making you hers. She handles you like you'll break; her touches are soothing and gentle. They make you crumble and give in and it's so hard to tell her no. It feels too good. And when her fingers make there was around to the front of you chest you groan, she's massaging your breast now, rolling your exposed nipples between her thumbs. You've never had a big chest; they're just the right size to fit in the palm of Santana's hands.

She kisses her way up your chin, but then she stops and rests her forehead on yours. You can feel her heart racing; feel the shiver in her bones from being so close to you.

"I love you," she breathes, her eyes closed

"I love you too, Santana," You tell her, "Always," She leans in, catching your lips with hers. It's not an innocent kiss, it's hot and needy. It's so passionate and demanding. Warmth spreads through your body. That fire is back and in full force as she pushes you deeper into the wall. Santana's lips taste like cherry and wine and they fit perfectly with yours.

You want so much more. It's the first time the two of you have kissed in… you don't even remember how long.

Santana is hungry for you, almost like she's been starving without you for the last 3 years and she's finally getting her meal. She kissed you like she was drowning and you were her only source of air.

There's a knock at the door and you know its Manuela. But Santana doesn't move away, she drops her head down to your shoulder and lets her lips linger there. You're breathing is hard and irregular; your heart is beating so fast you think you'll pass out.

"Your daughter is hungry!" Manuela whines,

"We'll be there in a minute, Manny." Santana smiles to your daughter and sends her on her way. Santana turns back to you, that hungry look still in her eyes as she licks her lips, "We should get ready."

/

Santana was wild. Growing up… she was lost, and no one thought much good of her. But you saw past that. You saw her heart and soul, and you saw that when she did love; she loved hard.

Which was how she loved you. Santana was always your knight and shining armor… and you were her Princess. Other times… like when her dad was home and arguing with her mother you were her knight and shining armor and she was your Princess.

The weather had got better; the roads were starting to clear. As much as you didn't want to admit it… you knew that this fantasy world that you and Santana had been living in would soon come to an end. She'd have to go back to work and things will go back to how they were before. Her ignoring you, her never being around, and you feeling like you didn't matter.

/

You had just finished grading papers and doing lesson plans when you got into your bedroom and found a note on the bed.

 _Dear Brittany,_

 _I know you're fed up with me and work… but I would like to have a talk, about us… about where we stand. I have dinner waiting for you downstairs in the kitchen, Manuela is already sleep and has had her dinner. Please get dressed and meet me at 7ish? Please?_

 _Love Santana,_

/

You forgot how beautiful Santana was.

It's not that you actually forgot… it's just that the two of you have had little to no alone time to really look at each other anymore. Sometimes you'd stand outside her office door and watch her work. You would admire the way her hair would sit in a high messy bun, or the way her glasses would sit on the bridge of her nose. You admired the way she typed so fast or how her lips would get pouty if she didn't approve of what she was reading. You liked the way she talked herself through her cases while putting together her arguments and getting her facts straight. But whenever you did that she never looked up once.

She's waiting for you at the bottom of the stairs; she looks nervous but so damn gorgeous. She's wearing a strapless red gown that stops right above her knee's and flares out at her hips. It's matted and gorgeous on her, especially with the way her dark hair cascades over her shoulders in defined curls. The left side is covering her eye, in a swoop like bang while the rest of it forms around her face. Her lips are colored a dark red, matching her dress.

You actually can't breathe right now.

"I can see you read my letter." She says eyeing you down and the white dress you chose to wear. Her hands are behind her back and you know she's fiddling with her fingers.

"I did." She clears her throat not sure what to say. "You look beautiful, Santana." You watch a blush spread across her cheeks as she smiles. "I can't remember the last time I saw you so… dressed up." She licks her lips and gives you a devilish grin,

"You look… exquisite." Her voice is husky when she says that, her eyes are looking you over and it makes you feel uncomfortable in the best way possible.

You missed Santana looking at you like that.

She steps closer to you, so close that your bodies are touching "You look delicious actually." Santana licks the shell of your ear, sucking it into her mouth briefly before letting it go. "Are you ready for dinner?" All you can do is nod because you're not sure how much longer you can deny Santana. On the dinner table there are two plates with Texas toast grilled cheese Sandwiches with a side of Tomato soup and a bowl full of salad. Along with two glasses of wine.

"There wasn't much left in the fridge…" She points out as she pulls your chair out for you and you grin,

"No, it's perfect. Thank you. I love tomato soup."

"I know," She takes a seat next to you and the two of you start to eat. It's quiet between the two of you but you can tell Santana has a lot on her mind; she's trying to put it into words. But when she finally gets them together she clears her throat again, "Brittany… I'm _so_ sorry." You glance up to see tears forming in her eyes, all of the confidence she had earlier has disappeared. "I've been a terrible wife to you,"

"Santana-"

"No, I've been so horrible for the last 3 years." She whispers, "I don't even remember the last time me and you sat down and had dinner together, or went to the movies together, or have even been in the same room together for longer than 10 minutes. Or went on a date or just had a family night. Or had sex or cuddled…By the time I get to bed you and Manuela are already sleep and by the time you get up I'm already gone." Her voice cracks as she speaks to you and you just listen closely. "You have every right to be angry with me, and you have every right to… to not want to be with someone like me…I-I've ignored you and acted unappreciative and ungrateful… I've taken advantage of you so many times. And no marriage should be like that." Santana doesn't look at you, it's like she can't. She's too ashamed. "When I would come home to my office and everything was so clean… it was because you straightened up for me. Or when I would get home late at night and dinner was warm and waiting on me…Or my clothes being clean. And I never once said thank you. I should have said thank you. I should have woken you up with a kiss and said goodnight… _something._ " You're not sure what to say to her, she's right about all of it but you don't want to say that. "So I have been thinking of how we could work this out… if you want to work this out."

"I'm listening."

"I'll quit." You blink a few times, not sure if you heard her correctly.

"W-what?"

"I'll quit my job at the firm." You're not sure if she's being serious. Santana's worked her whole early adult life trying to be a lawyer. You remember her late nights during school. She'd never go out to parties or hang out with friends because she was too busy trying to be the top of her class. And it's paid off. The second year that you two were married was the year she got hired at the firm and the year after that she bought you this huge, beautiful 5 bedroom house. It was your dream house and she only bought it because you loved it so much. You loved the hard wood floors, the cream colored carpet and the large living room and kitchen space. You loved the master bed room with two walk in closets and a full bathroom. You loved all the space you had in the backyard for Manuela to play and the huge tree right in the front.

"Santana… you've worked really hard. I can't ask you do something like that for me… for us- "

"I'd do anything for you… I'd give you the moon and the stars if I could because it's what you deserve." You want to tell Santana that you don't need the moon, that you don't need the stars, you just need her. "You are my world, Brittany. Nothing I have matters if I don't have you. You've always been with me… I don't think I could survive without you in my life." You'd hate to admit it but you wouldn't last long without Santana, either. You've literally been one person since the day you two met in Kindergarten

"Well maybe… you can… not work as hard?" You suggest

Santana chuckles at your words and rolls her eyes,

"I have to work 5 times as hard just to get half the respect that they get." You blink your eyes and ask her,

"What do you mean?"

"You know I'm like… one of the only women in the firm. And no other women that does work there is Partner… it's nothing really. The men there just… talk a lot."

"Talk how?" Santana's never told you any of this before, so you listen closely.

"How I slept my way to the top. They basically tell me that I only win my cases because I've slept with the judges and the jury and…" She licks her lips, "My boss actually called me into his office last year and told me my attire was distracting to the men at the firm." She laughs sarcastically, "Like I wore leather crop tops and miniskirts to the office." She plays with her tomato soup. "He told me not to wear skirts anymore. It's so fucking complicated, Britt. If I wear a skirt then I'm giving them 'easy access' but if I wear pants I'm putting my ass on display. If I wear a button down then my breast are distracting them from handling their cases." She shakes her head, "And they always have some… joke about my body or my sexuality- Jesus, they had a field day when they found out I was a lesbian."

"Oh, Santana…w-why didn't you tell me any of this before."

"I didn't want you to worry."

"But it's sexual harassment."

"You'd be surprised at how common that is in any office setting-"

"It's a terrible thing for you to be subjected to!"

"I'm fine, I just…"

"Has this been going on since you started working at the firm?"

"Yeah… about 5 years." You can't say anything because you're too upset now. "I must have gotten lost while trying to prove to them that I'm not some office slut and forgot about us, Brittany." She turns to you, taking your hand in hers. "I never want you to think that I don't love you… I love you more than anything on this earth." You nod your head, you love her too. "I'm sorry if I haven't shown that to you… I'm sorry if I let you forget that I do love you and I shouldn't have let my job get in the way of our marriage."

"You're right, you shouldn't." You tell her, "Santana… I don't think anything will change."

"But it will!"

"No, it won't… you can't just make yourself stop working…And I don't want to force you to do anything-"

"Brittany-"

"This is too much." You whisper. "I think you only want me because you're jealous of Aaron and you don't like the idea of me being with anyone else. You don't like the idea of anyone stepping in and doing what you haven't been doing for _years._ I think I've waited long enough… I've been patient long enough. And I love you Santana… more than you'll ever know… more than I can express… but I love myself too. I think you only miss me when it's convenient for you… other than that you don't think about me at all. You don't treat me like a wife… you barely treat me like your best friend anymore. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep at night because I'm not sure if we matter to you- If I matter to you-"

"Of course Manuela and you matter to me-"

"How do I know that?"

"Because everything I do-"

"You do it for yourself. You do it for your own comfort, Santana. I'm sorry about what happens in your office and how they treat you but… it doesn't change how I feel. None of this changes how it feels…"

"Brittany… I thought-"

"I _am_ yours, forever and always, Santana you know that. The only time you acknowledge that I am yours is when it's sexual… But… I don't think that… I don't think you're mines." Santana is at a loss for words, you can tell. Her eyes are tearing up. "I think… I think you should leave."

/

You miss her more than your words could express. When she left she was mad.

 _So_ mad.

There were flames in her eyes when she threw her spoon down, and her face turned red. She slammed her car door and sped out of the driveway. She didn't say goodbye and she didn't give you a hug, and you cried afterwards. You cried because you hurt the one person that you've ever loved… you hurt Santana and that tears you apart.

But you had to do it.

If you would have taken her back after 2 and ½ days what would that have proved? It would have proved how weak and naive you were. How attached to her you are. It would have proven that Santana could treat you how ever she wanted and still get her way in the end… could still get her prize.

You.

You asked her to leave because you knew that if she stayed- if she stayed one more night you wouldn't have made it. You wouldn't have been able to tell her no one more time; you wouldn't have been able to resist her. You would have given yourself to her willingly and completely and you would have enjoyed every second of her lips on your bare skin and her tongue on your most sensitive areas. You would have loved the way she whispered everything you wanted to hear so close to your ear that it gave you chills. You would have loved the way she pinned you down and made you hers. You would have forgiven her because you'll always forgive Santana. No matter what.

If she would have stayed one more night… You would have taken her back in one breath.

You would have taken her back and Manuela would have both of her parents in her life again living in the same home… but it wouldn't have been happy.

Everything would just stay the same.

You want her to know it won't be that easy… that _you're_ not that easy. That even though her kisses are nice, and taste like a forbidden wine, and leave you hyperventilating…they're not good enough. Not them alone anyway.

But you still have to call her. And you're surprised when she answers.

" _Hello?"_ Her voice is unreadable,

" _I'm guessing you got home okay?"_

" _I'm fine."_ Santana says. " _How are you?"_ Her voice was so raspy and hurt, you could hear it all. And it only made you want to hold her, made you want to kiss her pain away.

" _I'm fine."_ You say sweetly. _"Manuela will probably have school in the morning… and I know she'll ask a thousand questions about you. Maybe you could take her?"_ It's like a peace offering… that even if you're currently separated Manuela is still her's and you would never stop them from spending time together. There's a long pause on the other end,

" _What time?"_

" _She needs to be there by 8."_

" _I'll be there at 7:30"_ She says flatly.

" _Okay."_ There's a long, silent pause on the phone. She's holding something back and so are you.

" _Okay,"_ There's another pause before you hear, _"Good-bye, Brittany."_


End file.
